I'm sleepy too, Camilla.

No surgery today, though Camilla still has to put up with her mommy's kisses. Her head size has been stable for the past few days, so for now we're waiting and hoping that she can escape the shunt, or at least grow a little bigger first.

Ducky.

Camilla started taking some of her feedings from the bottle. She really hates the feeding tube these days, and of course she needs be free of it when she goes home.

Don't cry!

Camilla now lives in an open crib, just like a regular baby.

We spent most of the day sleeping.

Stop taking pictures!

For some reason, Camilla isn't smiling in any of her bath pictures..

The drain was removed from Camilla's head on Thursday morning. We still don't know if she will need a permanent shunt or not, but surgery is tentatively scheduled for next Wednesday. Now that the drain is gone, we can again spend more time holding her. It is difficult and discouraging to see the results of Camilla's brain scans and be told that the damage is likely to cause severe disabilities, but it helps to hold her, to see her look up at us and smile. Camilla is strong, and she gives that strength to the rest of us.

Baby Camilla
(written by April, sung to the tune of Baby Beluga by Raffi)

Baby Camilla in your isolette,
You sleep so snug and you look so sweet.
We look from above, and love you so,
As our little pretty baby strongly grow.

Baby Camilla, baby Camilla, we make sure you are warm.
We tuck your blankie in 'round you, so sleepy.

Dream of the day when we can take you home,
We've a big backyard where you can roam.
Climb our trees and walk to the park
Read you bedtime stories when it gets dark.

Baby Camilla, baby Camilla, make a funny face,
Smile at all your friends, we love to see you.

When it's time, you're changed and fed,
Nestled nicely in your little bed.
Moon is shining and the stars are out,
Good night, little baby, goodnight.

Baby Camilla, baby Camilla, with tomorrow's sun,
Another day’s begun, you'll soon be waking.

Baby Camilla in your isolette,
You sleep so snug and you look so sweet.
We look from above, and love you so,
As our little pretty baby strongly grow.
We watch our little pretty baby strongly grow

Camilla was born on April 21, so Tuesday was her two month birthday. Today she is nine weeks old.

Yawn. (not scream)

Part of the terror comes from not knowing when the trouble will end. Camilla was born 14 weeks early, which lead to bleeding in her brain, which caused hydrocephalus, which required surgery to place a reservoir, which opened the way for an infection to cause meningitis, which required more surgery and treatment... Last friday, Camilla's weekly head ultrasound showed several unusual spots on her brain. Nobody was sure what they were, so on monday they did a CT-scan to get a better look. This new scan doesn't show the spots, so it's less likely to be a new infection; hopefully it was just an imaging artifact on the ultrasound. What the scan does make clear is that her brain simply isn't as large as it should be, which isn't too surprising given that it spent many weeks compressed due to her hydrocephalus. An MRI will provide better images and enable the doctors to make more predictions, but ultimately it will be up to her, and we really won't know the full consequences for a number of years. She continues to behave just fine though.

People say that Camilla looks like April.